Preventing Picky Eating: Eating Together
In our second post in the Preventing Picky Eating series, we are talking about the importance of eating together! If you haven’t read our first tip The Power of Food Play, check out our post for another way to prevent picky eating.
Despite how stressful the dinner table can be when dining with a picky eater, it can be an important setting to encourage the exploration of new foods. The key is to do this using a low pressure approach to avoid mistrust around the table. Don’t worry; we have some tips on creating a safe, comforting, and encouraging environment around the dinner table!
Mealtimes as a safe space
In anthropology, mealtimes represent a chance for community, social development, and relationship building (1). To successfully use the dinner table as a foundation to develop and maintain strong and meaningful relationships, children must feel safe. Once children feel they are in a safe environment they are more likely to explore and converse freely. This can translate to exploration of green beans by a toddler or a conversation about a social interaction at school for an adolescent.
A safe space looks different for every family, but one way to encourage the environment to be safe is by eliminating distractions, modelling behaviours you want your children to mimic, and removing food and communication pressures. Removing distractions creates a sound environment that focuses on relationship building, conversation engagement, and food exploration (4). This can definitely be difficult when phones are so prevalent, especially for adolescents. Making this a “family rule” can be helpful to implement change in the home.
The importance of gathering
Many relationships are built through gathering. At the dinner table a specific relationship between parent and child is made – the feeding relationship (5). A feeding relationship is based on a concept called the Division of Responsibility. With this relationship established, it forms trust between the child and parent and allows the child to independently explore their eating environment without pressure of finishing their food.
Ultimately mealtimes fulfill more than just a place to eat food (1). Across many cultures, mealtimes are an opportunity to connect members of the family, to converse with each other, validate one another, express troubles, learn from one another, and seek advice (1). If your child feels comfortable around the table when they are two years old, they are more likely to return to the table as an adolescent when they encounter a problem and ask for advice.
The table as a place to model behaviours
In the early stages of life, observation is the main form of child learning. Children learn from watching others and recreating those actions, whether this is incidental or purposeful – this is called observational learning (3). Young children are always watching and are, therefore, easily influenced. The adults around them influence their behaviours in all aspects of life, especially in the eating environment (2). Your children are more likely to participate in eating behaviours that you show them. This is why eating together is so important! If you eat with your child, your child is more likely to eat as well.
How can this help with picky eating?
Since children are constantly watching, learning, and reciprocating behaviours, parents can use this opportunity to combat picky eating. If your child sees you eat lasagna, they are more likely to eat it as well (4). Children watch their parents to gauge if something is safe to do or not. To enhance observational learning even more, try emphasizing the joy you experience from each food. This does not need to be over the top; simply truly be present with your food and enjoy the experience.
Observational learning in the eating environment does not only apply to the types of foods consumed but also to the motor skills involved in eating. Children are learning how you process foods to figure out the motor planning involved in them processing the same foods. If you have a younger infant learning to eat, try to emphasize chewing and moving food around in your mouth. You can also describe the sensations to help them prepare for what the food might feel like in their mouth. For example, “the strawberry squished when I bit into it!”. While chewing with your mouth open might not be the most polite way to eat, it is helpful for your baby to see what is going on in your mouth!
Family-Style Meals
Another way to use mealtimes as a way to prevent picky eating is through family-style meals. This involves placing all the food for the meal in the middle of the table with family members serving themselves a portion of what they like. This allows children to be exposed to all parts of the meal in a low-pressure way – even the foods they are not a fan of (4). A child will be able to smell, see, and hear the foods as they are being served to different family members. It might also be a way for them to feel comfortable trying a lick of a new food off a serving spoon, without it actually being served on their plate. When a child is a bit older, you can ask them to be involved in the plating of meals, which furthers their interaction even more. Asking them to participate in the activities of mealtimes like “passing dad the chicken”, helping with scraping plates, setting the table, or grabbing dressing from the fridge encourages children to indirectly interact with foods. Additionally, family-style meals continue autonomy discovery, empowering children to ask for more or less of a meal component (4).
In conclusion…
Eating together is a simple way to prevent picky eating and create lasting relationships with one another. Of course, not one technique will successfully combat frustrating picky eating behaviours, but creating a postitive mealtime environment ensures that children return to the table even when their favourite meal is not served.
If you are struggling with a picky eater at home and need support creating a positive mealtime environment, feel free to reach out to one of our therapists. Book a FREE 15-minute discovery call here and see how our team can help!
References:
Ochs E, and Shohet M. The cultural structuring of mealtime socialization. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development. 2006;2006(111):35-49. https://doi.org/10.1002/cd.154
Benjamin Neelon SE, Briley ME. Position of the American Dietetic Association: benchmarks for nutrition in child care. J Am Diet Assoc. 2011;111(4):607-15. doi: 10.1016/j.jada.2011.02.016.
Fryling MJ, Johnston C, Hayes LJ. Understanding observational learning: an interbehavioral approach. Anal Verbal Behav. 2011;27(1):191-203. doi: 10.1007/BF03393102.
Curran, S. Eating together-eating well: pivoting the picky eater. New Jersey Agricultural Experiment Station: Rutgers; 2019. Available from: https://njaes.rutgers.edu/fs1304/. Accessed 27 September 2024.
Feeding Toddlers and Young Children. [place unknown]:Alberta Health Services; 2023. https://www.albertahealthservices.ca/assets/info/nutrition/if-nfs-feeding-toddlers-and-young-children.pdf. Accessed 27 September 2024.