Preventing Picky Eating: Considering not Catering
When picky eating crops up in the family, many parents start to worry about their child’s nutrition. We know that adequate nutrition is vital to growth and development in children. As such, families can often get into a routine of catering to their picky eater. However, we know that this actually makes picky eating worse!
In our 4th post in the series Preventing Picky Eating we discuss ways that families can be considerate of their picky eater, without catering towards their preferences.
Division of Responsibility
Examples of ways that parents can cater to their picky eater is by providing alternative meals or only offering previously accepted foods to avoid their child skipping meals. This action contradicts the Division of Responsibility, creating confusion between the roles of the parent and child in the eating environment. The Division of Responsibility is a concept that outlines roles for the parent and child at mealtimes. In summary, the parent decides when food is offered, what food is provided, and where it is served, and the child decides if they will eat the food provided and how much of it they will eat.
The considering not catering approach plays off of the Division of Responsibility by giving everyone an option at mealtimes without surrendering parental roles to picky eating behaviours. By considering your child’s preferences you can incorporate every family member’s meal preferences while maintaining structure.
Offering structured choice
When considering your child’s preferences, the first step is to provide structured choice to the child. Here the parent still decides “what” is served and “what” the other option is, and the child decides “if” and “how much” they want of that food. For example, let’s say dinner tonight is pasta and meat sauce but your child is sensitive to the texture of wet foods. A way to offer structured choice at dinner time is asking the child if they want the sauce on the pasta, on the side, or without sauce. In this way the family meal of pasta and sauce is preserved, and the child’s preferences are considered so that the meal is appropriate to them.
Another example is if you’re making chicken quesadillas for dinner. If your child is still getting used to the texture of meat, you could offer the meat on the side of their plate and make a cheese quesadilla instead. This is an extra consideration that does not require additional cooking or a completely different meal to be created.
Other structured choices that consider a child’s preferences:
Would you like a banana or an orange in your lunch?
Would you like cheese or tomato sauce on your pasta?
Do you want salmon for dinner on Monday or Tuesday?
How much milk do you want in your cereal?
Pair preferred (or “safe” foods) with non-preferred foods
Another way you can consider and not catering when feeding your family is by offering both safe foods and new/unfamiliar foods at meals. A safe food is one that you know your child is familiar with and likes. It might not always be their favourite food, but it is a food that you know they have eaten before and is not considered a new food for them.
When offering a meal that includes a new food, try to pair it with a safe food. For some children, the sight of a new food can be overwhelming and be enough to turn them away from the meal. However, by having a food that is familiar to them, this can encourage them to still participate in the mealtime and have a component of the meal. And just to remind you of the Division of Responsibility, it is ultimately their choice what they choose to eat from what you have offered, however, you have done your job at ensuring their is something that you know they can manage on their plate.
An example of how this might look at mealtimes is if you are serving meat, potatoes, and salad for dinner. These foods may all be new foods for your child so to consider your child’s preferences you decide to include a few slices of garlic bread for everyone to enjoy. Garlic bread is something that naturally would go with this meal, and is a safe food for your child. By having a food that is familiar, the meal becomes less overwhelming and may actually encourage your child to try some of the new foods.
Family-style meals are also an easy way to use the considering not catering approach by displaying safe and new foods in the middle of the table for everyone to have, like the garlic bread above. Read the other benefits of family-style meals and eating together in our previous blog post!
Note: Switching up the safe food between meals is essential so the child does not become accustomed to one safe food.
The “Learning” Plate
A final way that you can consider your child’s preferences is by allowing them modify their meal after it has been served. This does not mean allowing them to refuse the meal altogether and make you prepare a new dish; instead, it gives them the freedom to take what they want from their plate and leave the rest. If your child does not like having certain foods on their plate, you can offer them a “learning plate”. This special plate is a space for your child to put the foods that they are still learning about (aka their non-preferred food). If the sight of chicken on the plate makes them turn away from meals, encourage them to remove it from their plate and place it on the “learning plate” instead. In this way, we are subtly nudging them to interact with the food and allowing them to modify their meal to a presentation that feels comfortable for them.
We call it the “learning plate” because it can take up to 20 food exposures before a child tries a food, and even more to like the food! Therefore, unless your child has tried that food 20 times, it is considered a food that they are still learning about. Using this language is a way to avoid categorizing foods as likes/dislikes and leaves the food open for an opportunity to be tasted (and learned about) in the future.
Another fun addition to the “learning plate” is offering a food toolbox. Parent can create a toolbox with tweezers, cloths, and a kid-safe knife that allows the child to “fix” their plate how they like it. The toolbox considers children that are sensitive to what their plates and foods look like. It can also consider those who may prefer less of one thing e.g. spinach on pizza. Using their toolbox, the child can manipulate the meal to be appropriate for them, for example, using the tweezers to pick off the spinach. Not only does this encourage a child to once again, interact with their non-preferred food, it also empowers them to still participate in the meal by learning about what parts of the meal they may be learning about still.
In conclusion…
The main point of considering not catering is building trust in the parent-child feeding relationship while maintaining the structure and roles of mealtimes. Children are less likely to exhibit picky eating behaviours if they feel heard and confident when deciding if and how much they eat of meals.
However frustrating and overwhelming the navigation of picky eating is, we are here to help. Book a FREE discovery call and we can offer personalized guidance!