Preventing Picky Eating: Remove the pressure
In our last post in the series Preventing Picky Eating, we will discuss how pressure in the mealtime environment can exacerbate picky eating.
In our last 4 posts we have alluded to ways to incorporate children into the mealtime environment and expose them to new foods in a low pressure way. Here is a recap the importance of low pressure in each step:
The power of food play introduces new foods to children in an environment they are comfortable in - the play environment! When they do not feel pressured to eat the food, they may be more inclined to explore it and discover its properties (3).
Eating together allows children to observe how their family members interact with food and decide for themselves if they want to follow suit. Observational learning at the dinner table combined with family-style meals exposes children to new foods and favourable eating habits without explicit pressure (2).
Including them in the kitchen expands food literacy and opens opportunities to try foods if children feel confident.
Considering not catering, although providing structure, still holds a low-pressure environment by allowing choice within reason.
Why is pressure added to the environment?
During a mealtime it can be frustrating when you, as the parent, prepare a lovely meal for your family and your child refuses to eat. Pressure is inadvertently added to the mealtime environment due to concern or worry about your child’s well-being. If your child is refusing to eat, there is naturally concern that they won’t take in adequate nutrients to grow and develop. However, by inserting ourselves into the child’s role at mealtime (hint: remember the Division of Responsibility…) we disrupt our children’s intrinsic ability to regulate hunger/fullness.
Part of removing pressure is trusting that your child knows when they are hungry (1). Humans have biological mechanisms that tell us when we are hungry and full. Children are the best at listening to these hunger cues because later in life these cues get quieter due to various environmental factors e.g. beliefs about body image, being distracted while eating, ignoring hunger cues, etc. To keep these cues strong, we must allow children to honour their internal hunger cues, eat when hungry, and stop when full. Strong hunger cues help us avoid under or overeating and allow our bodies to grow as they genetically were meant to (4).
Sneaky forms of pressure
Concepts like the “Clean Plate Club” and “One More Bite” are all food rules that many parents were told to follow when growing up. These are pressure techniques disguised as family rules, many of which we did not question as a child. Other techniques include interrupting the mealtime to comment on how much the child has eaten or instruct them what to eat first can, all of which interferes with hunger and satiety cues. Not only are biological processes interrupted, but also interpersonal relationships are impeded when managing a child’s eating behaviours during a meal (6).
TIP: If limiting food waste is the reason for the “Clean Plate Club” initiative, pack the leftovers for another meal!
As mentioned, other forms of pressure can stem from concerns about your child’s growth and nutrition. Do any of these phrases resonate with you?
“Please just take one bite!”
“You’ve had so much bread already - try your chicken!”
“Mom worked so hard on this meal! It hurts my feelings when you don’t eat the food I make for you.”
“You can’t have any more crackers because you did not eat your lunch today.”
You are not alone! While not recommended, these phrases are so easy to slip out at the dinner table, especially when coming from a place of concern. However, all of these are subtle pressure techniques.
The best way you can know if you are using pressure is by asking yourself this question posed by Ellyn Satter:
“Am I doing this/saying this for the reason of trying to get my child to eat more, less or different than what they are eating now?”
If the answer is yes, then this is pressure!
The reward system
A similar idea of coaxing children to eat something is using an external item to bribe and reward them after they eat their food. It is common to reward children with ice cream or extra TV time if they finish their veggies, but it can be harmful. When bribing a child with something, they connect negative thoughts to the action they must do to receive the reward. This may make negative feelings be associated with mealtimes, leading to more picky eating behaviours and challenges at the table (5).
Bribing and rewarding indirectly interrupt hunger cues. Children may eat quicker and ignore their hunger cues while actively eating to reach the reward faster, thus weakening their connection with their internal cues.
What can I do?
We recommend trying the following instead:
Stick to the Division of Responsibility. Ask yourself throughout the meal if your actions are adhering to your roles!
Keep the environment positive. Actively avoid discussing anything food related and talk about other topics e.g. friends, family, your day, sports, etc. If you are really struggling, conversation cards can be a nice way to promote discussions about different topics.
Encourage food play at the table! Read our blog post here for a few ideas about how to incorporate this!
Talk about food in a neutral way! Avoid using terms like “healthy” and “unhealthy” or “good” and “bad” when describing food. Treat all food the same way and talk about what’s offered in a neutral tone.
Praise behaviours and milestones as opposed to bites! Commenting on how well they are spooning foods or sipping from cups celebrates feeding milestones and avoids focusing on how much food the child has eaten.
Do a check-in at the end of the meal. It is natural for our kids to want to play instead of eating. To avoid pressuring them and foster a relationship of trust you can do a check-in if they say they are “all done”. Questions like, “is your tummy full?” or “does your tummy feel happy or angry?” are appropriate questions to get kids to connect with their body. You can also follow up with when the next meal will be. For example ending a mealtime by saying the following, “Ollie, are you all done? The next is in a couple of hours at dinner time. Do you think your tummy will be happy until then?”
In conclusion…
The tips outlined in this series empower children to listen to their internal cues, explore their environment, learn about social and food practices, interact with loved ones, and create enjoyable mealtimes. All of these concepts are foundational to building a positive mealtime environment and preventing picky eating!
Thank you so much for joining us in this series, and a special thank you to our volunteer, Eliy, for leading this series!
What’s next?
Are you struggling with removing pressure at mealtimes? Do you feel like you have to use certain techniques in fear that your child will not grow? You are not alone! We have helped hundreds of families just like you. Book a FREE discovery call with one of our therapists to see how we can be of support!
References:
Dietitians of Canada. Say goodbye to picky eating! [Internet]. [place unknown]: Dietitians of Canada; 2023. Available from: https://www.unlockfood.ca/en/Articles/Child-Toddler-Nutrition/Say-Goodbye-to-Picky-Eating!.aspx Accessed 20 October 2024.
Curran, S. Eating together-eating well: pivoting the picky eater. New Jersey Agricultural Experiment Station: Rutgers; 2019. Available from: https://njaes.rutgers.edu/fs1304/. Accessed 27 September 2024.
Benjamin Neelon, Sara E., and Margaret E. Briley. Position of the American Dietetic Association: Benchmarks for nutrition in child care. Journal of the American Dietetic Association, vol. 111, no. 4, 2011, pp. 607-615, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jada.2011.02.016.
Hernandez R, Toffoli S. Hunger and fullness awareness [Internet]. [place unknown]: The John Hopkins University; 2024. Available from: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/hunger-and-fullness-awareness Accessed 20 October 2024.
Anti-bribing strategies for picky eaters [Internet]. [place unknown]: Action for Healthy Kids; 2024. Available from: https://www.actionforhealthykids.org/anti-bribing-strategies-for-picky-eaters/#:~:text=Yes%2C%20we%20know%20this%20will,your%20dessert%20a%20healthy%20option. Accessed 21 October 2024.
Satter E. Feeding pressures on all sides [Internet]. [place unknow]: Ellyn Satter Institute; 2024. Available from: https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/family-meals-focus/47-pressured-on-all-sides/ Accessed 21 October 2024.